Having won her primary, Starr Struuck is ready to update her campaign website and Instagram feed to jazz up her image and promote the reasons why she should win the general election. Having been chastised by Captain Kurff of Star Warp’d who tweeted Struuck to take her personalized and autographed photograph of the two of them at the Comic-Con convention off her newsletter and website, she remains determined to stick with her Star Warp’d theme. A Getty image photograph of the Starship Enterprise circling an unknown planet is now pasted across her social media. This time Getty images complains. Again, Struuck insists that she was merely publicly confessing her affection for geeky space adventure shows. Is Getty in the right to complain and demand to be paid?

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Running for office, Starr Struuck sent out a campaign newsletter extolling her qualifications and a list of reasons why she should be elected rather than her incumbent opponent. Prominently displayed in her newsletter and website was a personalized and autographed Comic-Con convention photograph of Starr Struuck perched beside wildly popular and well-known Captain Kurff of Star Warp’d. When advised of her campaign literature, Captain Kurff tweeted Struuck demanding that she destroy all copies of the campaign newsletter and remove his likeness from any of her campaign materials as he was not endorsing her. Protesting that she was merely publicly confessing her affection for the Captain and geeky shows generally, Starr resisted. Is Captain Kurff right?

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Internet DefamationArriving at his warehouse last week Knott Faire, owner of Faire Carpet Cleaning, discovered yet another complaining critique posted on WELP: “Lots of hype, a mediocre cleaning and a hassle at the end. Don’t get tied up with Knott!” In over 75 previous reviews only 3 were slightly negative. Since the “hype” complaint,

Arriving at his warehouse last week Knott Faire, owner of Faire Carpet Cleaning, discovered yet another complaining critique posted on WELP: “Lots of hype, a mediocre cleaning and a hassle at the end. Don’t get tied up with Knott!” In over 75 previous reviews only 3 were slightly negative. Since the “hype” complaint, another dozen scathing complaints were logged. Believing that the negative reviews are from a competitor, not his customers, Knott called his trusty lawyer Icahn Ficksit for help. Icahn issued WELP a subpoena demanding production of identifying information and ISP (Internet Service Provider) addresses for the dozen offenders. Will Ficksit win? 

In Virginia, yes; in Texas, no. The Virginia Court of Appeals held that a Yelp reviewer is generally entitled to First Amendment protection if the reviewer is critiquing a business they patronized; however, [i]f the reviewer was never a customer of the business, then the review is not an opinion; but is based on a false statement. Virginia only requires that Icahn Ficksit and Knott Faire show, among other things, that the WELP reviews “are or may be tortious or illegal,” or that Faire Carpet Cleaning has “a legitimate, good faith basis” to believe that they were the victim of actionable conduct.


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